3 Things Baristas, Don't Want to Discuss & 9 Brighter Topics of Conversation:

When I'm on the clock, it's all about the job. Who I am, what I think and believe,has to fall away. I need to provide a premiere experience for my guest. Of course, there are topics my guests should know are off limits. These things include:

1. Saying hateful things about other races, religions, or sexual identities. I'll try not to be a jerk, but silence is tacit agreement.

2. Trying to convert me to another faith. There is literally no polite way to tell someone “No”. Even if I personally appreciated the injection of faith into my work day, I'm responsible for other employees who may be uncomfortable with this.

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3. Trying to sell makeup, jewelry, or any direct sales item to me or my co-workers. Why are you pressuring someone who has to be nice to you to buy something they probably can’t afford?

Friendly reminder: please avoid the above three subjects with hospitality, food service, and retail staff.

Now you know, we don't want to hear about controversial subjects particularly when our jobs prohibit us from contributing to the conversation. Some suggestions I have when you want to make conversation with your serving staff:

1. Keep it light and breezy with some smooth weather conversation.

2. Talk about you. I like hearing about your kids/grand kids/ nephews or nieces /pets. I like hearing you have a promotion or that your friend is visiting .

3. Tell me about a trip you took. This is especially popular if you did something on a thrifty budget I might be able to mimic.

4. Tell me about your new diet, sugar substitute, milk substitute, or update me on how your pursuit of gluten free is going. Personally, I know a lot about healthy eating and different dieting techniques, but more generally, service people are always running into special diets and allergies. Most of us are interested in hearing more about why we're making drinks a special way. If it's a diet we want to know if it was effective. Hearing about your allergies or struggles can help us deliver a safer allergy free food to you.

5. Talk about a food or product you like. I'm in retail/food service. Stuff like that is kind of my wheel house.

6. Tell me about a book, movie, or TV show. We're all watching popular media, chances are good I've seen it or heard of it. Even if I don't know it, you might be introducing me to something new I could be enjoying.

7. Tell me about something local that's going on. There's always a farmer's market, fair, play, or some other local flavor I'd like to know more about.

8. Feel free to talk about your holiday plans. This is a way to positively share your faith and include us in a way that doesn't pressure us to make any statements about our faith. We all want to hear about a fun party! Graduations, weddings, and birthday parties are fun celebrations we also like hearing about.

9. Give us a complement. I love recommending my hair stylist (Cost Cutters all the way!), telling you where I got my $1.50 eyeliner, or how I like my brand of khaki pants. My one caveat is to be careful NOT to slide into hitting on us. Personally, I've never enjoyed this kind of attention, though the jury is out on whether this is generally welcome in the industry.

Finally, please look for your best opportunity to speak with us. There's quite a few regulars I enjoy talking to, but no matter how curious I am about their trip to Alaska or how long it's been since I've seen them, I'm way too stressed/busy to chat with them if there is a line. When traffic is heavy please refrain from starting a conversation with us. If you're enjoying a chat but new guests arrive: please understand if we have to cut you short. It's not you, it's the job.

Join the Conversation:

-Has someone ever said something inappropriate to you while you were working and what did you do?

-Are there any places you visit regularly to say “Hi” to the team? What did they do that created that feeling of connection for you?

-Did I miss another fun light topic you like to bring up with service workers?

Enjoy this post and want to read more like it?  Try: The Dumbest Question You Could Ask Your Barista

The Dumbest Question You Could Ask Your Barista

If you've ever asked a barista, waiter, bartender, or cashier if they “like their job”, you may be stressing your server out for no real reason. Exactly how do you want your service person to answer the question and what do you really want to know

“Yes” is probably a lie. I've never met someone who's fulfilled by working the bottom tier service industry. In a roundabout way the job might make them happy. It might provide the schedule to do something creative/educational in the background. Maybe, it’s an opportunity to make connections that they are hoping to leverage into a better career or a better living space.

“No” is a whole other dangerous can of worms. What if your boss overhears you? It sounds dumb. The boss shouldn't care if you're happy so long as you do your job, but they care. Every guest complaint is your fault because you're giving out the vibe you're not happy here. And you need to be more grateful you have a job and are getting paid.

If you're a manager, it's even more deadly to tell a guest you don't like your job. All your employees will hear you and think to themselves “Well my boss doesn't even like this job, so this place is just terrible and I should leave” or “My boss doesn't even care so I don't have to do a good job.” Yeah, being happy and caring about a job are not the same thing, but you'd be surprised how often the two are confused.

Saying “no, I don't like this job” could be seen as a backhanded expression of “no I don't like serving you”. A guest might be offended, ascend offending a guest is about the worse thing you can do.

Why do you care if we like our jobs? Are you going to leave your career and join the minimum wage service industry?

Honestly, do people come to where you work and randomly ask you if you like your job? How would you feel if a random stranger entered your work space, had you do a bunch of tasks which you did as cheerfully and effectively as you could and mid way through asked “do you like working here?” Does it sound mildly like a threat to your security no matter the inflection?

Next time, ask what you really want to know like “is it fun to work the espresso machine” or “it must be nice to know so much about wine pairing” or whatever the heck it is that you thought made this job fun/cool. It's kind of nice to be reminded of the sweet parts of the gig and it's always makes my day to hear that someone else has an appreciation for the way I handle part of my job.

If you're looking for work for your teen, then just open with that. Most people will let you know the minimum hiring age for their store and are often TOO open about whether or not it's realistic for a teen to work their job. There is a lot to consider when hiring teens, but I do find that often my employees will chase away possible candidates based off what THEY do on the job that a teen legally couldn't do. As a manager, I'd make space for a teen to work a shift. The right teenager brings a bubbly enthusiasm, speed and friendliness to guest service that can rejuvenate the rest of the staff and can be hard to find in a more seasoned worker.

For the record, I hesitate to hire teens whose parents or family are job hunting for them. It signals to me that the teen doesn't really want the job or the teen isn't competent enough to handle the job.

If you're using “do you like your job” as a segway to offer us a job, just present the opportunity. Don't play games with us about whether or not this is all we see ourselves doing with our lives. Remember, everyone in the service industry is underemployed. We all have skills and talents that go way beyond filling your order, taking your money, making wine suggestions, or scanning items. Give us the credit that you would a chimp and acknowledge we're at minimum bored and frustrated. Just like you wouldn't bang on the glass in the monkey house, don't waste our time with a stupid invasive question.

Opening Up the Conversation:

-Have you asked people in the service industry if they like their jobs and if so why?

-Have you ever seen a skill in a service person that made you think, this person could do more than this?

-Have you ever offered a job to or hired someone who was serving you?

-If you work in the service industry, have you ever been asked if you like your job and how did you handle it?

-If you don't work in the service industry, has anyone asked you if you like your job and what was the context?

-Do you love your job or industry and if so what do you do?   

Guests I Wouldn't Invite Back: This Fellow is Nominated for Either Most Oblivious or Most Self Centered Guest

Scene: Busy Saturday filled with bustling people coming and going. There is one Barista working the coffee shop where there is a constant line of people waiting to place orders and receive drinks.

“Hello Ma'am I'd like a small Green Tea Frappicinno,”

“Sure, will that be all?”

“Yes that's all,”

“You're total is $4.85”

Barista turns around to make the drink. With the sink running and the blender whirring she hears muffled noises. She looks to see the male Guest's mouth moving. She moves towards the counter.

“What was that sir?”

“I just saw the Oprah brewed tea. Is that new, I've never seen it. You know what, I want that. Yeah, get me an Oprah brewed tea.”

“Do you want the tea and the Frappiccinno?”

“Yes, I'll have a small Oprah tea.”

“Ok the total will be $6.43”

“Ok well I gave you $5 so I just need to give you another $2”

Barista looks on the register top. She looks to the side of the register. She looks on the cup holders, and sees no money. Man is currently fumbling with cash. He looks up and sees the barista's confused face. He hands her 4 crumpled $1 that are hiding UNDERNEATH the credit card self swipe. Barista turns and fixes tea while man continues to search for the money.

“You know I don't have enough, I'm going to run to my car to get the rest of the change.”

Man turns and leaves without waiting for response. Sighs can be heard from the long line of waiting guests. Barista forces a smile. She knows the only thing harder than closing and opening a transaction so she can serve other guests while waiting for this one to come back will be having to work his cash transaction and beverage hand off in after she's started moving the line.